No Regrets
by Lady Dudley
Summary: Kathryn and Chakotay define new parameters before returning to Voyager during Resolutions.


**A/N: I have recently gotten into _The Orville_ and I was inspired by a couple of conversations between Ed and Kelly during the episodes 'Mad Idolatry' and 'Ja'loja'. Most of the dialogue in this is taken from those episodes and/or was adapted for my purposes. It seemed like a conversation that J/C needed to have and ****I decided that the best place for this was during 'Resolutions' (besides, every J/C shipper needs to tackle that episode eventually). I also wanted to point out the flaw in Kelly's logic about not having a relationship. Just my two cents.** **Anyways, hope you enjoy.  
**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 _ **No Regrets**_

They had been avoiding each other for much of the day, silently packing up their own belongings and communicating as little as possible when it came to packing up the communal spaces.

A part of him appreciated the silence, it allowed him the time to think through the situation and to process how he felt about it. Another part, the larger part, dreaded the silence as it prolonged the inevitable conversation to revisit 'defined parameters'.

When she stepped out of her sleeping cubicle in full uniform, he knew that the conversation he had been dreading was about to begin.

He set aside the crate he'd been about to take outside and came to sit at the small table, watching as she silently did the same. She folded her hands together and placed them on the table, meeting his eye steadily.

"We have to talk about this," she began, her voice more brisk and businesslike than the last time she'd uttered those words.

"All right," he agreed, "I'm listening."

If she noticed the slight edge in his tone, she chose to ignore it. "You and I…together. It jeopardizes command," she told him gravely. "It jeopardizes the smooth operation of _Voyager_ , and it jeopardizes our friendship. It can't happen," she said firmly.

He sat back with a heavy sigh, "When I'm really honest with myself, I know that you're right," he said finally.

"But?"

" _But_ …that doesn't change how I feel," he told her seriously, looking her in the eye.

For a brief moment, her expression softened, "I know. But those are feelings that we need to forget," she continued, her voice and face hardening once more.

"Do you love me?" he challenged, catching her off guard.

"It's not that simple," she countered, waving a dismissive hand.

"Yes it is," he insisted, leaning forward as she sat back in her chair, crossing her arms. "It _is_ that simple, Kathryn. If two people love each other, it is exactly that simple."

"A captain and first officer cannot be in a relationship together," she stated flatly, "for heaven's sake, Chakotay, you _know_ that."

"Do you love me?" he repeated.

Kathryn threw her hands up in exasperation, "How I feel is not the issue."

"Kathryn," he said firmly, causing her to look at him, "Do. You. Love. Me?"

"Are you seriously telling me that you don't understand why this wouldn't work?" she asked with a touch of incredulity, "Let me pitch a hypothetical here: we've encountered an alien species and I've been taken hostage. They give you a choice: you leave me behind and _Voyager_ remains intact or you fight for me and be destroyed. What do you do?"

Chakotay frowned, "What are the specifics of the scenario?"

Kathryn waved a dismissive had, "Doesn't matter. What do you do?"

"I would have more information in that situation," Chakotay protested, " _and_ more options."

Kathryn shook her head, "You can't answer and that's the point. You shouldn't have to."

"Kathryn-"

"Are you trying to tell me you would sacrifice the woman you love for the ship?" she challenged, cutting him off, "Really? And in that scenario, just think about how that devalues everyone else's life."

"How do I know what I would do in that situation? Who would?" Chakotay countered, exasperated.

"And I don't want either of us to ever have to make that choice," Kathryn replied evenly. "We can't allow personal feelings to cloud command decisions."

"Permission to speak freely, _Captain_?" Chakotay asked, placing deliberate stress on her title.

For a brief moment, Kathryn looked stung by his use of her rank, but she recovered quickly. "Granted," she replied coolly.

"That's a cliché _and_ a bunch of crap," he informed her baldly.

"Commander…" she began in a warning tone, but he ignored her.

"We're not in the Alpha Quadrant anymore and, by necessity, the crew are going to become much closer than they would on any other starship. Personal relationships are going to develop and the ability to remain completely objective is going to go out the airlock." He paused, " _If_ you love me, then it doesn't matter what we do about it: your command decisions are already clouded."

They stared at each other for a long moment.

"At least if we gave it – gave _us_ – a chance, there would be no regrets," he added quietly. "If two people care about each other, the choice to love should transcend timing and circumstances. Anything less is cowardice."

"We can't," she whispered, sounding much less certain than before.

"I'm not saying it will be easy," he continued in a low tone, "or that it won't take some time to adjust. But it would be a mistake to deny how close we've become and how much closer we could be. Starfleet regulations are there for good reason, but they condition you to be okay being by yourself. And, after a while, you start to think that giving yourself over to someone else is some kind of weakness. Even though it's exactly what you need."

He took a deep breath, "I believe that we're professional and mature enough to make this work." Slowly he reached out his hand, "You don't have to be alone, Kathryn, let me prove it to you."

Kathryn bit her lip in a futile attempt to keep her tears from falling, "Yes," she said finally, reaching out to take his hand.

Chakotay's breath caught in his throat, "Yes?" he asked, absently stroking the back of her hand with his thumb.

Kathryn gave a small shrug as a tear rolled down her cheek, "You asked me if I loved you," she reminded him, "the answer is yes."

Chakotay smiled broadly, "I love you too, but I think you know that already."

Kathryn squeezed his hand with a broad smile of her own.

This time, Kathryn was the one to break the silence that had descended, "What now?" she asked softly.

Chakotay grinned, "I'm glad you asked me that, you see, we command a starship and it's coming back for us."

Kathryn laughed and relaxed back in her chair, releasing his hand. "I _meant_ once we're back on _Voyager_ ," she clarified with mock admonishment.

Chakotay's expression turned serious, "We go back, we attend to our duties and then I thought maybe dinner? In my quarters?" he suggested hopefully.

Kathryn smiled, "I'd like that." She paused, "It's going to take some time to adjust to being back on board, but having you with me will make it much easier than I had anticipated." She looked away, "Giving you up was going to be the hardest part about leaving here, but I had convinced myself that it had to be done."

Chakotay regarded her fondly, "Fortunately you have an exceptional first officer who gives excellent advice," he teased, making her chuckle softly.

"Indeed," she agreed, looking up at him once more.

"Well, _Voyager_ will be here soon, we should finish packing," he said, as they both stood up, "and I should get back into uniform."

Kathryn nodded, surprising him by kissing his cheek, "I'll meet you outside," she told him, not quite meeting his eye as she moved passed him.

Chakotay watched her go before blinking and heading into his own sleeping cubicle.

A few minutes later he found her, as promised, outside the shelter and taking her leave of the monkey. He watched as the monkey disappeared into the trees and she stood up.

"Ready?" he asked as she came over to join him and she nodded.

"No regrets?" he asked as she looked around the small clearing they had called home.

She smiled up at him, "Not anymore," she told him, squeezing his hand before calling for a beam out.


End file.
